Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP – The Great Self-Improvement System in the World

Neuro Linguistic Programming is a study of human excellence. I will explain the basic principles of Neuro Linguistic Programming and many NLP technologies and how they work.

NLP influences human behavior by adopting and practicing certain specific methods and procedures. Indeed, NLP stands for Native programming, where "neuro" relates to both mind and body, "linguistic & # 39; About language patterns or structures and & nbsp; programming & # 39; is shaping ways and ways to harmonize mind, body and language to shape behaviors to achieve better results than before in a variety of lifestyles.

In a sense, Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you in many ways, if you only gain knowledge of its technology and how to use it for the benefit of it.

I use NLP daily in my life as it allows me to learn new tasks at an alarming rate. NLP helps to strengthen self-confidence and self-esteem, I always maintained a positive attitude and I can handle life's challenges in a positive way.

It works by identifying other essential characteristics of unusual abilities, good attitudes, and beliefs, and NLP also helps you learn them. Neuro Linguistic Programming is a study of the structure of subjective experience.

Neuro Linguistic Programming was first developed in the early 1970s by information engineer Richard Bandler and language professor John Grinder. From their learning to successful people, they created a way to identify and transform human excellence, leading to the most powerful, practical psychology that has been developed.

NLP is a practical application for how people think. Described as "your brain software" allows you to automatically tap the types of experience you want. With language programming in your language, you can create your own future and you can choose your feelings, especially when it matters most. Communications technology in technological development to promote personal and professional growth, Neuro Linguistic Programming creates an environment for majestic personal change.

Basic rules of Neuro-language programming:

The map is not a territory. We respond to our thoughts and memories. These are our mutual maps of reality. However, these cards are not true reality.

Experience has structure. When we change structure, experience changes automatically.

People work perfectly. People are always making the best choice available to them. People already have all the resources they need.

Anyone can do anything. If one person can do something, someone can learn to do the same. When it is physical or environmental, our experience will let us know.

Mind and body are part of the same system.

You can't communicate. We are always communicating, at least not verbally. Even thoughts are in contact with the self.

The meaning of your communication is the answer you receive. Communication is not what is intended, but what is received.

Underlying behavior is a positive intention.

The one who has the most flexibility in the system will have the most impact. Neuro Linguistic Programming gives you flexibility.

There is no such thing as failure – it's a comment for the next step.

Changed Conclusions:

You can turn to Neuro Linguistic Programming when you are interested in developing your personalities and qualities that determine your verbal and immoral responses to events in this world.

Like the first step, let's understand that your perception of reality is based on your subjectivity. Just like maps, only a small representation of territory, what you perceive as real is only a colored representation of reality, not reality itself.

You can't help but look at the world with gigantic glasses. Your reaction is not attacked by reality but by your perspective on that reality. Neuro-language programming helps you to understand and reduce, if you are not completely removing, your subjectivity. You will then consider incorporating other perspectives into reality and thereby changing how you react to it.

Why do people react differently to specific events or situations? Isn't it because of the difference between their individual attitudes to this event or situation? What a tragic event is, may not be the same with others.

For example, some may easily or verbally abuse or simply ignore it. Others may be affected by the need for psychological or medical treatment. Underlying Philosophy Neuro-language programming is based on the promise of changing the perception, attitudes, and behavior of the individual in order to be able to treat exercise. It is also possible that you may even be resistant to trauma.

Get rid of fools:

You can simply get rid of your phobias, if any, by entering the elements that cause your fears in the first place, with the help of NLP technology. You can look at things the way your opponents do. You can consider the same things from a totally new perspective.

Or you can learn people who have achieved excellent quality in some aspects of their life, find out what qualities and factors contribute to their success, and bring them the same or similar elements and attributes into your life in order to achieve excellence. quality in the selected box.

You can lower your unhappiness or raise happiness by changing your religious name, your proposed ideas, your language pattern that shows your infrared feelings, your unconscious mind, that describes your unconscious reactions to the world and then.

In short, Neuro Linguistic Programming transforms you into new ones, happier you and more efficiently, able to deal with this world in a much better way than before.

Numerous programming techniques and how they can help you!

The New Behavior Generator – This technology for accelerated learning allows you to make any new actions or skills automatic in your behavior. It is useful when you want to get more options, learn new skills or simulate a specialist.

Discover Your Mission – This technology includes your desires, goals, and values ​​to create a project that promotes a deep sense of personal satisfaction.

Achieving Your Goals – This technology helps you create well-defined, compelling and accurate goals, and provides a way to natural reality.

Create a Report and Strong Relationship – Improve Your Ability to Deal With Respect and Dignity.

Powerful Overhauling Methods – An overlook is the ability to offer others compelling values.

Building a positive relationship with yourself – This technology creates a deep personal congruence that leads to enthusiasm, charm and personal power.

Eliminating Fears and Fools – This technology prevents powerful negative feelings of phobia and trauma.

Building Self-Confidence – This technology allows you to be resourceful when you are criticized, whether at home, at work or with friends. This allows you to use criticism as feedback to improve your relationships.

Developing Self-Training – This technology helps you gain gratitude for yourself that others have for you. It is useful to build self-gratitude and self-confidence.

Having Pervasive Self-Esteem – This technology takes unwanted behavior and transforms it into a desire to become more the one you want to be. It is useful whenever you want to change unwanted behavior or emotions.

Maintaining Positive Spiritual Attitudes – This technology rides you on negative past decisions or tagging experiences. It is useful whenever you want to change the restriction features or create new, compelling ones.

Keys to Peak Performance – This technology provides a liberating perspective and an opportunity to preview your future. Use it to create the life you want to live.

Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you become efficient in what matters to you, whether it involves taking your family or co-workers or being more efficient at work. Neuro Linguistic Programming allows you to shape human excellence in any form. It is a totally powerful system for improving personal development at all levels.


How to use phosphoramide

One of the challenges that urban park faces is the limited space in their gardens for vertical growth plants. Not only can plants grow too tall for the space you have, but when they get higher, the lower parts of the plant will need additional lighting.

As a result, domestic gardeners use different methods to keep their plants from growing too high. For example, one could use a trellis over the canopy and train the plants to grow horizontally instead of vertically.

Furthermore, a supplement that can stop vertical growth growth and instead creates greater side growth. The supplement is called phospholate.

Phosphoload utilizes advanced plant technology gains. In fact, it removes special isolated from the coal that came from humates. The humatic insulators are strong, rare earth elements. When mixed with the technology found in Phosphoload, the result is fasting with larger buds.

As previously reported, your plants will stop vertical growth almost instantly and instead focus on producing large clusters of flowers later.

Not only will Phosphoload create more lateral growth, it will create larger flowers and increase yields up to 30%. If it is not enough to get you excited, it can also reduce the time it takes for a plant to reach full maturity.

Using phosphorous is a risk. If it is not used properly, you will kill your plants. This is not a slow death, either. Your plants will be toast in under three days.

The most common mistake is to follow the instructions on the label. The manufacturer does not know what nutrients you have in your reservoir or what you are growing. Don't be scared though. Simply follow these instructions and you'll be fine:

1. Start with fresh water.

2. In fresh water, only the primary nutrient is added to 75% of the last week early.

3. Do not add any additives, except root.

4. Apply Phospholad at the beginning of your third week of flowering.

5. Use 2-6 ml of phospholose per liter of water.

6. Run your nutrients through your plants for three days.

7. Thoroughly rinse your plants with clean water or use a leach solution.

8. After flushing the plants, return to normal feeding time for mid-thirty plants.

As you can see, it is very easy to use Phosphoload so do not be afraid to kill your plants. Just follow the instructions above and you'll see great results. More lateral growth, larger flowers and shorter flower periods make this addition a favorite among teachers.


E-Marketing Strategy: 7 Issues to Consider (e-Marketing Mix)

What is e-marketing?

E-Marketing is still a controversial topic to talk about, as no one was able to unite the various theories about it; although there is no doubt that e-Marketing appeared primarily in the form of various methods used by entrepreneurial organizations to sell their products over the internet at the beginning of the 90s.

The revolution in these new marketing methods created by e-tailers and supported by the internet definitely stimulates the birth of a new dimension of what we know as marketing: e-Marketing (electronic marketing).

There are many definitions of what e-marketing is, the simplest and shortest one formulated by Mark Sceats: E-Marketing is a marketing strategy that uses the Internet as an advertising medium. Work definition is coming from a team of CISCO experts: E-Marketing is the sum of all the activities that businesses do through the Internet with the goal of finding, attracting, working and maintaining customers.

E-marketing activities

E-marketing is based on principles and is based on the principles of traditional, offline marketing – well-known 4 P (product price – promotion – location) that forms the classic market mix. Add 3 accessories (People – Processes – Proof) and you have an outstanding marketing mix.

Until now, there are no major factors to analyze e-marketing from traditional online offline marketing: the widespread marketing mix (4 + 3 P) is based on the concept of "business" and its aspects carry business opportunities defined by exchange rate. What gives e-marketing its uniqueness is a set of special roles, communication technology, that can be combined into the 2P + 2C + 3S formula: Custom, Privacy, Customer, Community, Forum, Security, Sales Increase.

These 7 e-marketing features are based on any e-marketing strategy, and they have talent, unlike classic marketing tools that only engage in local action. E-Marketing sharing features have moderate quality, work on all spatial features (classic 4P) and on each other.

1. Customization

The basic idea of ​​customization as part of the e-market communication lies in the need to know and define a particular customer to establish communication (establishing relationships is the primary goal of marketing). It is important to be able to identify our customers on an individual basis and collect all possible information about them with a view to knowing the market and developing custom, personal products and services.

For example, a cookie applied to a computer's website may let us know about important access speed information available: Probably, if we know that a visitor is using a slow connection (for example, a call), we will offer a minimum variation of our website, with memory graphics content and no multimedia or flash applications. This will facilitate the experience of our customers on our website and it will prevent him from leaving the site because it takes too long to upload their pages.

Custom can be applied to any part of the marketing medium; Therefore, it is moderate.

2. Privacy

Privacy is a part of the mix highly linked to previous – personality. When we collect and store information about our customers and prospective customers (because when we carry out an id of e-marketing), it becomes a serious matter: how to use this information and what. A major project that needs to be done when implementing an e-marketing plan is to create and develop accessibility policies for the information collected.

This is the duty and necessity of any aware marketers to take into account all aspects of privacy, as long as data is collected and stored, information about individuals.

Privacy is even more important when establishing e-marketing where many rules and legal issues regarding the collection and use of such information are discussed.

3. Customer service

Customer service is one of the necessary and necessary activities among the support measures needed in commercial situations.

We will link the serving of customer service to participate in the "time" variable in business. When switching from a localization perspective in communication technology and e-marketing is largely based on contextual context, the market seems to be somehow compelling to consider indefinitely support and assistance, over time.

For this reason, we should consider the service support service (in full and in the broadest sense) as necessary in e-marketing.

As we can easily find out, the service (or assistance if you like) can happen with any aspect of classic 4P, because it is average.

4. Community

We can all agree that e-Marketing is dependent on this glorious internet network. Only the existence of such a network means that individuals and groups will always communicate. A group of people who interact with common purpose is what we call "community" and we will soon see why it is absolutely important to participate, be part of a community.

The Metcalf Act (named after Robert Metcalf) declares that the value of a network is given by its number of components, in particular the value of the networks equals the square number of the elements. We can apply this simple law to communities where they are networks: We will conclude that the value of society increases with the number of its members. This is the power of communities; Therefore, we must be part of it.

Business customers / customers can see as part of a community where they interact (either independently or under the influence of the market) – developing a community is a business that is done by every business, even if it is not always considered necessary.

Interactions among members of such communities can address all other e-marketing features, so it can be put next to other modest actions.

5. Site

We have seen and agreed that marketing communications take place on digital media – the internet. But such communication and communication also need the right place, to be available at any time and anywhere – digital location for digital communication.

Such a location is what we call "site", which is the most widespread name for it. Now it is time to mention that the "site" is merely a picture of "site" and should not be mistaken or seen as synonymous. The "site" can take other forms too, such as Palm Pilot or other hands-free devices, for example.

This special location, accessible through all types of digital technology, is handling all other e-marketing features – that is, with talent.

6. Security

The activity of "security" emerged as an important part of e-marketing when trading was done with Internet channels.

What we need to keep in mind when a market comes with two security issues:

– business security made on our website, where we must take every possible precautionary measure that third parties will not be able to access to any part of development sales

– data collection and storage, about our customers and guests.

Honest marketers must consider these possible causes of further problems and need to work with the company's affiliate to be able to form a compelling (and true, honest!) Message to customers that their personal information is protected from unauthorized eyes.

7. Increase in sales

At least but not least, we need to consider a sales increase when we build a marketing strategy. Sales promotions are widely used in traditional marketing too, we all know this and it is a great effective strategy for achieving immediate sales goals in terms of quantity.

This action is important for the target audience to think creatively: a lot of work and inspiration is needed to find new possibilities and new ways to develop an effective promotional program.

On the other hand, the market constantly needs to keep up with the latest internet technologies and applications so that it can take full advantage of them.

To conclude that we have seen this impact on the marketing of new dimensions is part of those inherited from traditional marketing. These dimensions revolve around the concept of communication technology, and they are essential to participate in any e-marketing activity that is effective and effective.


Why is personal finance software important

Why software personal finance is important

Today, technology has really revolutionized people's lives, including their financial lives. Again and again, most of them used pens and paper to document their income, expenses, and finances.

What is private finance software?

The software help returns a capital tool that allows you to create a budget, track your costs, and check your overall finances. These days there is no valid reason why you should be disorganized and mired in debt because there are many good personal financial systems that you can use to keep track of your money, plan your future and manage your entire finances. If you have a computer or laptop, you are lucky because you can easily find good household software at a low cost. Application programmers have now been in great demand for these applications as they now come with all sorts of features and capabilities that can save your money, time and effort.


You can now analyze your finances without support. However, this analysis can be much easier if you have some accounting background. Financial systems will analyze your important financial information. Details like your monthly fees stand out. Many personal finance applications also allow customization. If there is one particular factor you want to know about your finances, you can simply create a specialized analysis. Many personal finance programs can also give you a monthly analysis — a great way to see how you spend your money on a monthly basis.


We all know the importance of personal costs. But creating a real budget that you have to keep going is easier said than done. You can find a personal financial program that creates a realistic budget for you. Simply enter your basic information into the software and quickly create a simple budget.

Payment instruments and account payments

Sometimes you will not pay bills on time. When that happens, interest rates are more likely to pop up. Fortunately, you can avoid these mistakes once and for all. Look for a personal financial program that will remind you when to pay your bills. Likewise, you can balance by just clicking a box. Some amounts are withdrawn from your account and carefully check everything that seems suspicious. Once you have everything on record, it will be much easier to know how your finances are.

Trust yourself and no one else

When it comes to finance, it is best to keep track of everything you have in trouble. You can trust your finances with your financial advisers, but it's still important to know where each percent is, always. With personal finance applications, your money will never be far away from you. Whether you are paying bills, balancing your checkbook, monitoring your paycheck or creating a personal budget, you should not live without personal finance software.


What is Strategic Human Resource Management?

In today's human resources and management circles, there is much talk of Strategic Human Resource Management and many expensive books that can be seen on the shelves of bookshops. But what exactly is Strategic Human Resource Development (SHRM), what is its key factor, and how does it differ from traditional human resource management?

SHRM or Strategic Human Resource Management is a human resource management or HRM branch. It is a fairly new field that has emerged from human resource management parental control. Much of the early or so-called traditional HRM literature dealt with the concept of superficial, rather than purely operational, content, the results that are passed down through the organization. There was a kind of unseen partitioning in the territory between people-centered values ​​of HR and the more difficult business value where business plans actually belonged. HR experts felt uncomfortable in the war cabinet as an atmosphere where corporate strategies were formulated.

Definition of SHRM

Strategic human resource management can be defined as human resource linkage to strategic objectives and objectives in order to improve business performance and develop planning that promotes innovation, flexibility and competitive advantage. In an organization, SHRM means to approve and implement HR roles as a strategic partner in the formulation and implementation of the company's programs through HR activities, such as recruitment, selection, training, and rewarding staff.

How SHRM is different from HRM

Over the past two decades, there has been increased awareness that HR operations were like an island itself with a softer center that is far away from a difficult world of real business. In order to justify one's own existence, one had to respect HR actions as a closer relationship with the company's strategy and daily operations. Many writers in the latter half of the eighties began to complete a strategic approach to people's management, but the usual practices of traditional people or business relations. Strategic human resource management emphasizes long-term human resource plans. Instead of focusing on internal human resources, the focus is on addressing and solving issues that affect people's long-term, often global, management plans. Therefore, the main objective of human resource planning is to increase labor productivity by focusing on barriers to companies that occur outside of human resources. The HR policies are identified by key HR areas where long-term plans can be implemented to improve the overall impact of staff and productivity. Communication between human resources and management of the company is important, since without co-operation it is not possible to work together.

Key Features of Strategic Human Resource Management

Key Features of SHRM are

  • There is a clear relationship between HR policies and practices and general organizational goals and organizational environment
  • There is some planning program that links individual HR discussions so that they are reciprocal.
  • Much of the responsibility for human resource management is broken down into the line

Strategy for Human Resource Management Policy

] Human resource management experts are increasingly faced with employee engagement issues, human resource flow, performance management, payroll systems and high definition systems related to globalization. Older solutions and recipes that work in local context do not work in an international context. Intercultural issues play an important role here. These are some of the key issues that HR experts and managers at SHRM are addressing in the first decade of the 21st century:

  • Globalization of Market Adjustment.
  • Increased competition, which may not be local or even domestic with the free market ideology
  • Fast technical change.
  • New ideas for line and general management.
  • Continuous change in ownership and consequences of business development.
  • Intercultural Issues
  • The gravity that changes from "developed" to "developing" countries

SHRM also reflects some of the major modern challenges faced by human resource management : Aligning HR with core business, demographic trends in the labor market and the labor market, integrates soft skills into HRD and finally knowledge management. Overall Approach to Business London: Kogan Page

  • Beer, M and Spector, B (eds) (1985) Human Resource Management Trains New York: Free Press
  • Boxall, P ( 1992) Strategic Human Resource Management: Beginning of New Academic Refinement ? Human Resource Management Journal, Vol.2 No.3 Spring.
  • Fombrun, CJ, Tichy, N, M and Devanna, MA (1984) Strat egic Human Resource Management New York: Wiley
  • Mintzberg, H, Quinn, JB, Ghoshal, S (198) Policy Process, Prentice Hall.
  • Truss, C and Gratton, L (1994) & # 39; Strategic Human Resource Management: Theoretical Approach International Journal of Human Resource Management, Vol.5 No.3

    Great advice to help you make money online

    Making money online is something that seems impossible, especially if you don't know much about it. But, it's simpler than you would imagine, as long as you're educated. This article contains information that will help you do that.

    If you own your blog you are too time consuming, but you still want to write and earn money, a thing about creating articles for the current blog. There are numbers out there, including Weblogs and PayPerPost. With a little bit of research and a little bit of initiative, you could get set up with one of these sites and start saving money in no time.

    Think about what you are doing, whether they are hobbies or jobs, and consider how to use these skills online. If you make the kids clothes, create two of each and sell extra on the internet. Love to bake? Invite your skills through a website and people will hire you!

    Start low when you want to make money online, to minimize potential losses. For example, something that looks promising might look like a bust and you don't want to waste a lot of time or money. Make one project, write only one article or order only one item until the site you choose is safe and worthy.

    Freelancing is a great way to work online. There are a number of sites that allow you to log in and insert an idea or proposal. Buyers then look for the available options and figure out what they want to buy. Freelancing is best for skills that include things like programming and data transfer.

    Create honest reviews on some of the new software on the market today. SoftwareJudge is a place that will pay you to try out this new software and create a review of how good or bad you think it is. This will skyrocket your earnings if you can do this often.

    There are legitimate ways to make money, but there are also scams online. Investigate any site before you work with them in any way. Check out the BBB for any complaints that may have been submitted.

    If you have a blog or website ready to go, think about selling advertising space on it. You get money every time one of your guests stops what they are doing and clicks on the ad. The best way to succeed and earn money with ad advertising is to have a good website that offers valuable information. This will increase your traffic and the number of clicks you get. Google AdSense is one program that can start.

    To make real money online, consider starting a self-writing script. There are numerous reputable sites that offer appropriate payments for article and content writing services. By looking at these options and reading the responses from each company, it is actually possible to earn revenue without ever having to go home.

    Now you have the information you need to earn money online. There are many opportunities, but you need to be alert and try these tips. Take each day step by step. Over time, you will see your bank account grow.


    Ten characteristics of leaders

    Many people are interested in answering the question: "What makes a great leader?". What would you answer that question? There are many lists of these exercises written by others. These are quotes from an article by Bill George's former chairman and CEO of Medtronic. According to him, the most important feature is to be yourself! As you will see many leadership leaders need a lot of self-knowledge. Big leaders know themselves so they can be themselves.

    1. Truth "After years of leaders of leaders and their habits, I believe that leadership begins and ends with reliability."

    2. Desire to serve others "Powerful leaders really want to serve others with their leadership."

    3. Empowering People "They are more interested in strengthening the people they lead to make a difference than they are in power, money or opinion."

    4. Guidance of Heart, Passion, and Compassion "They are governed by the characteristics of the heart, with passion and compassion, as they are with the mind's qualities."

    5. Recognizing their faults "Good leaders use their natural abilities, but they also acknowledge their faults and work hard to overcome them."

    6. Lead with Purpose "They result from purpose, meaning and value."

    7. Build long lasting relationships "They build sustained relationships with people."

    8. Clear where they stand "Others watch them because they know where they stand."

    9. Refuse to compromise "When principals are tested, they refuse to compromise."

    10. Developing oneself "Self-directed leaders are dedicated to evolving because they know that becoming a leader takes a lifetime of personal growth."


    Why people can't commit to a relationship

    Long before women were equal in the workplace, one would spend the whole day at work, mostly only for men, then come home to his wife.

    Now, many women who are very young and beautiful and intelligent and sexy are in the workplace that people interact with each day.

    Men and women, men, are merely animals and powered by nature that encourages animals to make as many children as they can to spread the species with diverse GMs.

    When no temptation exists, meaning no women look like a monastery, sexual drive is not active. Therefore, Jews and Muslims are distinguished from men and women in prayer, so we can focus on God instead of hooking. It's just sad to be a person. Denial or disagreement does not change reality.

    But when you are surrounded by attractive, sexy and long-standing women all day long, it is impossible not to have a natural animal.

    Sexual energy is a creative and stimulating energy that makes life interesting and sparks a person to live. That's why we all look at sexual stimulation in our lives. This energy should never be uttered.

    The only way to stop this desire is prison, but then more than just sexual desire is removed, all life is killed.

    Consciously, since 98% of people are, the mind will be driven by the animal decision and reject the notion of being unable to partner with any undesirable partner. Since there are so many options every day, the concept of monogamy is denied by basic animal nature.

    Commitment is a reliably new spiritual concept for human history. All ancient religions and traditions, and some modern ones such as Islam and Mormons, practice multiplying.

    If one does not understand that the wishes are purely animal-based and not other than the fulfillment of the basic development of the species, he will confuse the wishes of other women by not being satisfied with the current spouse.

    However, if the woman does not understand what is driving her husband to fear commitment, ie. the animal welfare forever in his or her other organs, that he should not be tied to one woman, her frustration and fear can cause her to be in a way that will encourage him to go and push him away.

    Understanding human works is the only way to use nature's minds and make conscious choices with emotional consolation to remove the power of desire, rather than letting desires control decisions.


    Some Thoughts on Relationships – Part I

    The other day I received an email from a dear friend who has been actively pursuing his own interest. He was sharing the insights he has had about how his ability creates distress and distances in his dealings with others. He then reminded me of something I "learned" a moment ago and that life continues to give me the opportunity to learn again. Namely, this: When you are running the show, things do not go so well – we feel anxious and desperate and find the need to control others to get their consent and wicked security that we believe their approval will bring. When we can step outside the self, to ourselves more and let go of control of the situation or the other person, we immediately find relief, relaxation, peacefulness, and truly true to another person from love and affirmation and not despair and need.

    This encouraged me to think about my relationships and some of the great lessons they have given me.

    As Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes in "Women Who Run With The Wolves" is a natural cycle of life / death / life relationships and in order for a relationship to become deeper and grow and become a mature love, we need to be ready to attend every others during the "death" and trust that a new life will come to the connection in time. In our community, we seem to have forgotten (with me) the second "life" course. We get fine on the first phase of life of the relationships (often called "romantic love" or honeymoon) and we believe that there is something we can do to be there – to keep our relationship in perfect, everything is the wonderful phase of love. We can't. It is a natural flow in a relationship where, when we have enough security and time with someone, our "shadow" begins to surface.

    These thoughts, feelings, and behaviors we held in order to show only our best self begin to emerge. Likewise, the deepening of the relationship begins to push our safety button and we begin to feel very terrible and threatened, both loss of relationship and loss of our individual. This is the "death" phase of the connection. Because the relationship begins to show its full self – the good, the bad and the ugly. This is a point where most people guard. Thoughts about "you're not the one I thought you were" or "I haven't signed up for this" in large quantities and we started teaching the other party where the relationship doesn't work. "They are changing" we think and we feel duped and angry. In fact, we feel scared because it is time to jump off the rock into mature adult love and commitment to truly love the other person, whatever.

    Many of us do not realize that this "dead" phase of the relationship is just a mid-phase and not the end. And because we do not realize that we believe that the relationship has died and cannot be raised, and then we begin with someone we tell ourselves to become more real or healthier or more appropriate to us. someone who will not kill the romance with their "stuff". It doesn't work that way – as we find ourselves for 6 months or even years, or even next week, again in a new relationship that will lead to the death of the cycle.

    The solution to the communication of the revolving door is to realize that the deaths are at the level of life – a new life is coming. Stay there! As we see ourselves moving forward and continuing with the revelation of each other's shadow, and with our own vulnerability, we are blessed with the thriving closest, the connection, the commitment, and the love, unlike what we always know in romance / honeymoon love. The romance is there, love is there, but there is something else now and there is a deep understanding of your presence and continued love for your partner. You are there for each other and you know it. This is true love. This is a deep love. This is the connection we all want but very well, but so few of us ever get because we return too soon. We turn when things get tough and the shadow appears instead of holding fast and keeping our hearts open for our love.

    Certainly, there are situations where you should consider turning back – if your spouse is offensive (verbally, emotionally, or physically) or violates the core values ​​(ie, has a case or lies to you). If your spouse is not prepared to take responsibility for his or her role in the relationship and do his or her work to be the best they can be and grow out of harmful behavior, then leave the relationship and connect with someone who will share the load with. you and who are committed to emotional health and well-being first and foremost.

    And I believe that in other circumstances, leaving the scene before the relationship has had the opportunity for rebirth – or the second phase of life / death / life cycle but only your continuing stay in the air. We all want depth and security and commitment and true love, and it comes only with the second phase of life. We have to go through the death of initial connections to find a real gem within.

    Several other things are standing before me when I looked at my relationship before, recently or otherwise, that I want to share with you.

    I am more interested in having my partner in my life but I am interested in being "right".

    If I'm not careful, I can easily lose my balance and put all my eggs in my basket. This means I can find myself losing relationships with friends or not following self-defense (exercise, yoga, meditation, magazines, hobbies, etc.) that creates more dependency / urgency about the relationship than is necessary or healthy.

    I've found it difficult for people, especially my important others, to see my mistakes / imperfections. This stems from an old story we should all be perfect / good enough to be loved. Not only did this require perfection to lead to untruth (which meant it was difficult for me to be very close to one another), but it also gave my spouse a feeling that he needed to be perfect to follow. This is so ironic, so I have informed him of his ability to be real and sensitive and imperfect and to strive to do it himself. It also led to my partner's first putting me on a pedal that I immediately fell off and it was a great proposition for both of us.

    ~ Next Week Part II of Some Thoughts on Communication ~


    Why should we cheat on our spouse?

    A question that I am sometimes asked is: "As an adult child of alcohol, why am I being cheated on my spouse?" My experience of working with ACoA and adults from inactive homes has led me to identify unique opportunities that may address this passive issue.

    When you have a home-fueled & non-assertive & # 39; Communication, you are taught to deny yourself. You are not taught to ask what you need or what you want. Instead, you are taught to ignore your feelings, your inner needs, and to minimize your desires. Because your self-love models have not reflected you the importance of honoring Self, your programming is disabled. As an adult, you do not gain weight towards healthy relationships that honor you.

    The majority of ACoA is married with emotional and dysfunctional equations. Their partners are creatures that equate to the emotional levels of their child protection workers. Although their spouses are likely to meet their parents, co-workers are often morally equivalent to the types of power plants that ACoA lived with as a child.

    To make matters even more complex, many ACOA develop anxiety disorders because they have been conditioned to deny themselves. This condemnation of the self creates an energy block in the body. This blockage of energy appears in the body in many areas, such as headache, dizziness, tremor, insomnia, stomach discomfort, rash, asthma, brain nebulae, forgetfulness and the effects of the disorder.

    An attempt is made to cheat the ACOA sometimes as a way to escape the spiritual laundry and the general fears they find themselves. Very often, when ACoA discovers that they are married to one of their parents, the shock is so overwhelming that they seek a foreign romantic relationship, as one might have for Xanex. The extramarital affair works like a disturbance, and while work as a means of hiding anxiety temporarily, long-term consequences are much more devastating than ACoA currently recognizes.

    In the perfect world, all bees would marry healthy partners and of course – be healthy automatic individuals before they always married in the first place. But in a world we live in, where most beings today are asleep – and run their lives on autonomous flights – which are ridiculously unaware that they are living their lives by a disturbance system they learned in their childhood home – all too often The first round of marriage for ACoA is not the healthiest.

    ACoA, like many adults from nursing homes cheating for many reasons – but in my opinion – did so primarily because of their inability to honor themselves – be honest – and acknowledge the fall of choice to be honest and thus honor themselves .

    It is not easy to deal with oneself unhappiness within the marriage and to remember so knowingly. It is heroic to – instead of doing another thing in our experience to help us escape our personal misfortune – to face the death of our marriage. To honor oneself, noble efforts are indeed, especially when the material and wonderful world we live in is filled with creatures who prefer to avoid and refuse – then to deal with and heal and then honor themselves.