How to restore lost trust

You can recover lost trust, but first you must understand what TRUST is.

Trust is fundamental to all communication. Trust takes part in all the fundamental aspects of healthy relationships: rarely, love (respect and consideration for another), communication, commitment, and honesty. Without trust, you may get emotions, you can get high of the "moment", you can get patience and tolerance, but nothing will provide the strength and confidence you need for a lasting relationship of trust. Why? Because trustworthy trust is what you believe in the other man. And your belief about the other man is the accumulation of experience that either affirms or corroded the original commitment or promise. And let me hurry to say that TRUST is not just about big promises and commitments. It could just be another person's body, eyes or air quality. Have you ever felt that you are in the presence of a person for the first time and you find yourself saying "Anyway, do I trust this man with my stomach?" Trust is born by the other person registering in our TRUST radar. Finally, what you come to believe is another person who manages your behavior and actions toward them. Thus, the trust of every relationship, whether business, politics, work environment, marriage, family or friendship, is vital.

When you have believed about a person and this person has broken your "trust" in that belief, there is not much left.

Take a marriage for example. Promise to be married until "death happens, us apart" is a serious promise. You trust them. Want to marry if you don't want to trust? When divorce happens, what do you think that the one who broke the promise with you is reliable something else later? The tacit promise of parents to raise their children to their best abilities when they bring them into the world is serious. What enables you to believe that you as a parent, when you have not done your best to absorb information about good parents and depend on God as a good model for them? Cheating, lying, gossip, "backstabbing", displeasure, misunderstanding or lack of it, dishonesty, not paying back money, not being on time, infinitely calling, are all promises that once the offense changes trust someone has put on you. Trust is broken by changing a faith system that another person has about you.

Now I know we all have broken promises. I have broken many promises, often and it hurts me in the tomb in my stomach when I realize that I have lost so many times and let so many people down. So this article is not from a boy who has never lost people's trust but about someone who realizes what happened and began to restore the trust I lost when I failed.

Let me say it again: You can restore the trust you lost. That is, if the other one has a good heart toward you. First, you need to adopt four basic principles and follow that understanding with the massive restoration of trust from those who trust you for fraud.


1. When you let someone down and betray them, you have really betrayed everything. Moreover, the first thing you have to work with is: YOU! You must understand your own mistakes, your own humanity. What happened? Why did it happen? Was an accident or is it your character's pattern? Big people come to this first and simply can't do that!

2. When you let someone down and betray them trust you must admit that you did so and that will hurt your arrogance. If you are not ready to be humble and talk to the one who trusts you, you are not ready to trust that person.

3. When you release someone and betray their trust, it takes time and effort to recover it. It won't happen right away. This is one of the biggest challenges "cheated" faces. They usually want "just keep going." They want instant gratification. It just doesn't happen that way!

4. When you release someone and betray their trust, despite what you can do to gain their trust, you should be willing to possibly decline and you can never regain lost trust again. In that case, it is out of your hands, even if it hurts! What a pleasure here is nature: You did the right thing and your heart is right. Keep being a good man you are!


1. Notice your mistakes or how you hurt another person

This is the hardest step in building trust. Take the issue that causes damage to the trust of the head. If it was not your complaint, or treat your marriage as a sacred trust, or lie, or abuse another person or fail to fulfill a promise … whatever … to deal with the matter and ask for forgiveness. Praying for forgiveness for some vague, stupid unrelated behavior will be considered by the offended person as one step in the destruction of trust! It's simply offensive. My recommendation? If you have betrayed any trust, do not speak to that person until you understand what you did wrong and you are ready to deal with it honestly. Honestly acknowledging your mistakes is not something you do to "continue" with your "life"; it is something you do to rebuild a broken relationship, to coordinate and restore the sponsor, a major issue; Gaining trust is not about "your own" selfish pain!

2. Change

Nothing rebuilds trust faster than doing what others will sense when you have changed! Whatever you did to bet on another person has to change! This is not a brain. You want to create a solid environment with those you betrayed. In particular, tell what your action plan is to restore the sponsor. Ask the person to hold you responsible for your promised changes. Believe me, if you are honest and the other has a heart, he / she will love you for that. It's nothing refreshing and more authentic than knowing that someone cares for you so much they are ready to change what hurts you!

3. Share honest information

Information is power supplies. This is the number one trustworthy builder. Most of the situations I have faced where trust has been betrayed are directly related to lack of communication, lack of information, lies, and discussion stories. If you are afraid, say so. If you have made a wrong move, tell the truth. If you fail, acknowledge it. If you are preserving "privileged information" and your relationship depends on someone else who knows what is going on, be brave and say it. Information make the other person feel like "we are in this together." Keep information when it's because the other person is one of the most painful fraud. Be simple and honest. If you're trying to restore your spouse's trust, open up finance, time management, the people you meet, your orders, and where you are. The more information you give the better it is.

4. Share yourself with the other non-victimized opponent

It is difficult to get a win-win situation when you have betrayed some trust, but it is possible in time. Just remember one … The one you betrayed knows you and he / she will not accept external, wonderful changes. This person is your worst and most powerful critic because you hurt him / her and you know better whether you have changed heart or not before playing the game. What is the classic statement of the victim? "I did it because …" The victim's fingerprint is: BLAME, JUSTIFY AND EXPLAIN. An impersonal man claims responsibility for his work and strives to reconcile with another person because he needs a relationship.

5. Be consistent

If you betray your spouse's trust, focus on being consistent and following steps 1-4 steadily. It can take more than one conversation. It may take time for the other person to observe you and realize that you are "speaking in speech". If you betray trust officers, focus on being consistent with building your trust. The same applies to your children, relatives and friends. "Walking the talk" is what builds trust again.

While the idea of ​​following these steps is to restore someone's confidence or omission, extremely, doing the right thing (recognizing that you are wrong and CHANGING) is for your own sake and the essence of your character. Good people not only do good things to succeed. They also do the right thing because they know that in the end the greatest prize is to look at the mirror and to know that they are genuine and honest. That's what brings the greatest happiness in this life and that's what it means to live in the life area!

If you are in a difficult situation and you want to restore your spouse or children, be careful! Don't rush into it, don't delay it forever, and don't rule out your "laundry" irresponsible. It can be the beginning of an honest journey, but the end of the union with that man forever. Irresponsible honesty hurts, responsible honesty doctors! What's the difference? You do it for the other person and based on a bigger picture. Many times, a person from outside can help you with a perspective, timing and mode of travel to regain lost trust. I can train you on the best steps to restore confidence without destroying what you have.


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