Relationships are not always easy. They are perfect, non-repayable targets for self-development and enlightenment. When relationships have been under stress for some time, communication will inevitably suffer. Just as we can use the way we express each other, we can also use it consciously to get the relationship back on track.
The secret is NOT in words
Remember, communication is not just what you say with your words. In fact, only the minimum is what we are moving in the words. Research has shown that more than half of what we communicate through our body language, more than a third of which we use and only 7% are in words. Even if you're not saying a word, clean your looks, your weapons are broken in front of your breasts and your girls are talking with conviction. Remind yourself of the total offer you send out.
Communication is a tool, not a weapon
Communication can be used as a weapon to put people down, criticize, judge, release or control someone. Once you have received the end of such treatment, you know what effect it can have on your condition, emotionally, mentally and physically.
However, it is your choice to use your communications as a tool. It is natural to find feelings that are incompetent and negative thoughts are driven by these feelings. Your responsibility is to be aware of this and not just to allow them to leave your relationship without being thoughtful. There is nothing wrong with a sense of what you are feeling, for example, anger and resentment, but it is not acceptable to act aggressively, causing other emotions or physically harming them.
When you take responsibility, you may need help from someone, talk to a counselor, therapist, trainer, friend or college, and see what options or advice they might need. In conflict communication, it should be clear that it is not useful to expect to have all the answers within the wheel. In heated conditions, it is recommended to ask for an independent mediator to step in and help you sort through your story.
John Gottman, a liaison expert, says that there are great differences between happy and unhappy couples in how they come up with a smart affair. Here are some suggestions on how to communicate when things have been bad:
1. Don't store things up – move them up when they happen
2. Complain But Don't Teach
3. Create statements starting with & # 39; I & # 39; instead of & # 39; You & # 39;
4. Describe what is happening rather than assessing and judging
5. Be clear, polite and grateful