"Men are not disturbed by things but by the point of view they take from them" – Epicetus
Many of us are not even aware of the automatic negative thoughts we have turned on our heads. They are formed and influenced by our children, life experiences, and believers. It's time to ask about their value and check for evidence that supports them. Usually, you will not find much evidence to support negative thoughts (such as: I am not good enough) and there will be enough examples to refute this thought. Do you sometimes think of any of the following? If you do, it is time to explore effective and useful ways to explore the world. First, let us define how we all have errors in our thinking:
o Negative filtering
This is when you focus on negative factors and exclude any other evidence. Example: My last partner was terrible because I'm not going to use again because future members will probably also hurt my feelings / make me look insignificant / cheating on me.
Your brain will be tuned to look for negative behaviors that confirm negative filtering.
Don't do it !! Look at the positives too. Nobody's bad. There must be some redeeming features or you would never have continued or fell in love with your ex.
This thought involves teaching you situations that are not teaching you. Example: Betty and John did not go to the party I wanted and I should have paid more attention to them, because they would have had a good time.
This is not quite true. Betty and John are adults and it is also their responsibility to chat with other people and make the most of them.
Many things have nothing to do with you personally. The more you tend to take responsibility for situations that are not under your control, the more you will likely suffer from depression and low self-esteem. Release it.
o "Should" statements
Replace the word "should" with "might" and stop putting pressure on yourself. Since when are actions so important that you need to do them? Is it a life-threatening situation? When you use words like "should, must, you must" put unnecessary pressure / stress on yourself. Rather, spend time and make sure you manage your schedule efficiently.
o Negative forecast
Imagine a negative departure in an event / condition that has not yet happened. No one can predict the future. Typically, negative predictions are from past experience but it is necessary to revise the evidence and recognize that each situation is unique and that with each new experience we have the power to approach it differently. Learn from past experiences (positive or negative) and adapt.
o Black and white thinking
As the above title suggests, this thought is very stiff – everything or nothing & # 39; approximation. Very few things in life are black and white and it is worth remembering the gray areas in between. Black and white thinking reduces your options because options are worrying and ending & # 39; Your thinking – the opposite of "reflection". Requiring this thinking involves increasing your views.
o over general
Example: "I never get anything right". This is a fraudulent statement that cannot be considered uniquely. Search for evidence that drives this kind of thinking and denies broad sentences.
o Labeling / mislabelling
Example: "I'm stupid". Again, ask yourself where is the evidence? When thinking of an example, challenge these with evidence that contradicts these examples. You will certainly find examples where you were made intelligent. Because sometimes you have sometimes been stupid at times (not all of us?) But that doesn't mean you're stupid without having other redeeming qualities, it's an unreasonable thought. Stop it!
o Emotional Reasoning
I like it, because it must be true. Feeling is just feeling. It does not mean that it is based on facts. Familiarize yourself with your feelings (fear, anxiety, etc.), but do not see it as a result. Learn yourself that your feelings are related to your perception of events (NOT the event itself) and the thought behind the emotions. Think positive – see a positive exit.
o Awfulising / catastrophising
This thought only raises your worries and fears and happens when a potentially negative outcome is exacerbated in your mind. This leads to feelings of vulnerability and weakness. A good question about asking yourself (and being as objective as possible) is: What is the worst thing that can happen? If you stop looking and think realistically, it will seem more likely that output will not be as terrible as you expect. Often, the purpose is worse than the actual event. To get a perspective, ask yourself whether this will matter, seem as important a year.
Keep a point of view, tell you that you have what prevents you. Errors in intellectual thinking are not positive and if something is wrong, it is an obstacle to motivation and interest. Try positive affirmations. Tell you on a regular basis that you are amazing that you are unique and that you have a lot to offer. It may seem wrong at first, but positive programming works wonders. Show positive results and remind you of all your previous victories. You've done it so far, survived many of the challenges that are sent to you so why should it be different in the future? Believe in yourself and apply it to them & # 39; !!