Do you remember last time something has been emotionally painful? Perhaps someone you care about decided it was time to continue? Or just had to express the truth, which somehow became something negative about you?
Our first response is usually found raw and delicate. Which should not surprise us, because we just had a clean clean image of ourself, which was removed without warning. We believe we have been attacked and our response follows the usual "withdrawal and protection" mode. Trying to keep our self-esteem in tact, we usually start to be sad and hurt, go on to what is wrong with the other person. While phase 1 time depends on our basic perception (the less our confidence, the longer we stay in Phase 1), because most of us have self-defense to include defense against the other person.
Unfortunately, while it's very important that you find everything you feel, these reactions are not in the long run. To protect ourselves from being hurt is, I believe, number one because people are single and lonely. Let's find both of these, but then pass both of these emotions into stage 3. Did not know it was phase 3? Well, that's it. That's where you accept responsibility for everything that happens to you, even what others do to you. That way, you have to ask yourself a few questions. What did I learn from this? What did I have to learn from them? Did I learn that? Is it time to continue? How can this experience make me better and stronger? Is it possible that I wanted to continue but was afraid to do it? What do I know now that I did not know before? Does this make me close to my long-term goals? Or farther away? What am I afraid of?
Looking past pain allows us to put this experience in context. And for me, the goal is not to experience pain at all, but to learn why painful (and merry!) Experience as soon as possible, by integrating that knowledge into my life. Life without pain is not life. It's a hollow shell of life where we are basically unhappy and wonder why we can not get what everyone else seems to have no trouble finding.
Another dot: When you come out of the other side of the question you will see that in most cases there is no reason to be upset by another person. If someone is motivated to learn about oneself, our natural response is to thank them. You may need to experience this first hand to believe it, but it has been too often for me to accept this as the truth.