How often do we think we can not change. This is just the way we are. We have been like this for many years. Yet we change all the time. When we look at the old photographs we see that we were always red all the time; now it is purple and blue. When we were teachers; Now we are programming computers. We have moved, married again, have children, make new friends. The change we seek in personal growth – managing time, organizing, practicing or connecting ourselves and others – is just one change of long-term change, going all the way back in the past and for the future.
This particular change, however, appears to be different. Not so easy. Not so normal. We have tried it before and it has not worked. Why should this attempt be different? The point is – we do not know in advance if this approach, or any approach, will work.
The change is mysterious. We try to capture it, tame it and bend it to our will, but it's a mystery. Trying to change old habits, we push and shove; we try as hard as we can. If we are not successful, we may surrender. Something, however, changes mysteriously.
Every new year in five years I decided to smoke completely. Sometimes I rented a week, sometimes a few days, once a month. Nothing seemed to work. I cut down, over and over again; I need to stop & # 39; fifty times. Then one year passed. There was not much I could suggest that it was different but still conditions were right. The last resolution kept and I never smoked again. Mystery!
Experience tells us that we do not have to change in such a way and at the time we want. While we may not know exactly what will lead to changes that resolve the situation, we can still make it more likely.
Back when I had a frequent migraine when headache occurred, I would go to the "helper" and # 39; mode. I slow my head and rub my temple. I made of sardines, chocolate and nuts. I shook my eyes and put on a headphone. None of this actually took migraines away; It made me feel more comfortable when I waited. Although acupuncture finally affects my nervous system, "help-headache" and # 39; The usual became part of life, undoubtedly helping to make headaches in the future less often.
As we wait for the change to appear, we can do it a lot. For time and material management, we can clear clutter, make lists and set priorities. For exercise, we can go to the gym. For relationships, we can practice saying the words. We respect as if & # 39; even if we are not yet convinced. These actions release not only our part that just wants to do something they also prepare the ground and relate to some distress.
The real shift – the one who changes everything fundamentally – is more gift given to us than something we consciously do. The story tells us that this change often appears slightly. They do not come as heroic entries in the enemy castle accompanied by trumpets and drums. Deep shifts appear when we can receive them. The best we can do is keep our attention open and welcome, focus on our intentions, prepare the ground with our exercises and trust that the shift is on its way. This time, circumstances can be correct. This method can be clicked. This could be exactly what changes us deeply forever.